Blog entry by Sam Poller

Picture of Sam Poller
by Sam Poller - Thursday, 25 November 2021, 10:38 PM
Anyone in the world

You ever have one of those days where you think you could fuck like 3 girls in one day?

Yeah…. I thought Saturday was going to be one of those days.

I was going to be home for Easter, so made sure to set some things up for Saturday.  I had an afternoon date set up with an old sure thing I used to fuck three years ago, (and haven’t seen in three years).  Then, I had a chick that was cooking me dinner at her apartment in the evening time.  Then, I had a house party to go to, one of my best friends from high school was having a birthday party.  I love swooping at house parties, as you already have some social proof just based on you being there and knowing the host – considering the host is one of my best buds, that should be no problem.

So, I get in town.  I’m hitting up my afternoon chick, my sure thing.   She says she got stuck babysitting her nephew, but she was still trying to pawn him off on one of her friends in order to come see me.  Smh.  Well, my afternoon just opened up – I text a few people to see what they’re up to.  Another friend of mine says there’s a bar-b-que at his house, I shoot over there to chill and kill time and wait for both my sure thing and my dinner cook to hit me up.  I text my dinner date at around 4pm to make sure we’re still on for tonight.   I don’t get a response.  I text her again at 7pm – again, no response.  Damn, she flaked on cooking for me?  Wtf?

Meanwhile, my sure thing is still complaining/apologizing for having to watch her nephew.   My hopes for hitting three chicks in one day is fading fast.

At 10pm, I’m still at the bar-b-que, engaged in a male/female debate with women 20 years my senior.  I can’t believe how women who consider me family are actually talking about sexual relationships in front of me now… it almost sucks to be grown, this is somewhat awkward.  I get a text message – it’s actually a DM on twitter from my dinner cook, “So…. what happened to you?” she says.  OMG, is she serious, what happened to me?  I tell her I’ve been texting her all day and she never responded.  She calls me, I’m frustrated and she can hear it in my voice.  She says she never got any texts from me.  I bitch at her and tell her she should’ve hit me up, she apologizes.  She seems timid on the phone, unsure of how to react to my frustration.  I ask her what she’s doing now, she went to a friends house to help her with her taxes (on a Saturday night, mind you… how fun…).  She says she doesn’t know when she’ll be done, but she’ll hit me up.   I get off the phone and my boy starts making fun of me, “that’s both of y’all’s faults, y’all are both idiots for relying on text messages, why didn’t you just call her earlier?”  Yeah, I don’t really have a good answer for that, he’s right, I’m an idiot for that.

At some point, my sure thing didn’t feel the need to continue apologizing about watching her nephew and not being able to see me, she’s now just ignoring my calls.

My friend lets me know he has two chicks on the way though, I see a glimmer of hope.  Then he feels the need to tell me that they’re just friends of his and besides, “they’re not your type.”

Me: “How you know they’re not my type.  Are they attractive?”

Him: “Yeah, they’re cute, but they’re not your type.  I know you, I know what kind of girls you tend to talk to.”

Me: “Oh yeah, so what’s my type?”

Him:  ”Like… skanky girls”

I’m offended by that.  I can’t believe he thinks I only fuck with skanks.  I tell him this.

Him:  ”Alright, alright.  My bad, you don’t always mess with skanky girls, but you do always go for girly girls.  Girly girls are your type – girls who wear makeup, heels, dresses, you like girls who dress up for you, not neccessarily skanks.  You have fucked with a few skanks, though.”

Alright, much better synopsis.  That I can live with.

Anyway, I wait for these chicks to show up, to see what we’re working with.  They show up, only one of them is attractive, so I leave.

Time to hit up my other boy’s birthday party.  I get there at midnight, it’s only a few people still there. Every one is chilling in the back yard, drinking, listening to music.  I pour myself a few long island’s and me and him reminisce over chicks we’ve fucked that we both know.  We also talk about chicks from high school and some of our early missed opportunities.  At least I’m not the only one, he once had a chick butt naked in his car in high school, and didn’t know what to do with her, and wound up getting nothing.  Wow… such is life when you’re young and dumb, I guess.  I have stories that rival that, and share them with him now for the first time, as he makes fun of me for “getting scared”.  Shit is a lot easier to laugh about your horrible attempts (or non-attempts for that matter) to lose your virginity in high school, when it’s now been over 7 years.

Anyway, my hopes of swooping something here don’t seem to be too good.  There’s only two chicks here – my boy’s wife and some other chick.  There’s at least 15 dudes.  I just chill and join in random conversations and wrestle with the pitbulls that are chained up.

At some point, it reaches 2AM, we pick up the tables and chairs out of the backyard and put them up.  Stand around on the back porch chatting now and people start to make their exits.

The other chick, the one I didn’t even talk to, (smh), walks up to my boy to say goodnight.  Then she walks into the house.   “Who’s she?” I ask.

Him: “My wife’s cousin.”

Me:  ”Oh shit.  Should I have tried something?”

He shrugs he shoulders and gives me that grin that basically says yeah, you should’ve.   Damn.  His wife walks out of the house, “Your cousin left?”

Her: “Naw, she’s right in there.”

I go in the house to look for her.  Too late.  My boy’s other close friend is already trying to game her up.  I let him have it, we’re cool, I don’t compete with friends, plus she seems to be digging him, so he’s good.

I eat another piece of cake and call it a night.

My hope at fucking three chicks in one Saturday amounted to zero chicks that day.  So much for dreams, ehh?

I spend Easter with my family, but while eating brunch, I get a text from the old sure thing.  ”I’m so sorry I didn’t get to see you yesterday.  I know today is family day, but I’d really love to see you if it’s possible.”  I don’t think that it is, but I tell her I’m leaving town around 5, maybe we can meet up then, I’ll let her know.  I don’t see this happening because I’ll have my brother with me when we head out.

I’m in town at my parents’ house, she’s at her parents’ house, it’s Easter.  Logistics are not looking good.   After eating luch/early dinner/whatever the hell it’s called when you eat in the middle of the afternoon on a holiday, I mention to my mom that my car is dirty.  She says I should take it to the car wash down the street – I see an opening.  I thought I’d be with family all day without a good excuse to get away.  Now, I have one.  I leave to wash my car, and I text my sure thing.

We meet up at the mall after I wash my car.  She shows up with her best friend in her passenger seat, damn, my hopes of fucking in her car seem to be killed (she has window tint, I don’t).   Oh well, we chill for a little bit, then go to my car, we’re sitting there talking, kissing, I go to lick her neck, she pulls away, “I’m trying to be good”, she says.  I smile, kiss her, lift up her skirt.  I start fingering her, she grabs my dick – it’s on.   We fuck in the passenger seat.  Just a quickie by my standards, I’m not really trying to beat it up for hours in a car with no tint in broad day in the parking lot on Easter Sunday.

We finish, and I walk her back to her car.  Mall security pulls up, admittedly, I get a little nervous, what the fuck does he want?   “Hey man, y’all can’t be doing that here.”

Me, (playing as stupid as possible):  ”Doing what?”

Him: “Fucking in the car.”

Me: “What are you talking about?”

Him: “Just don’t do that shit here, anymore, man.”

Me: “Alright man, whatever.”

He drives off, and leaves us alone.  Lol.  I wonder how he knew?  Who saw us?  I have no idea…  I should probably look into getting my windows tinted.


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